Day 4: Smoky

Genre: Horror
Universe: Undefined
Rating: PG / TW: Fire, allusion to abuse and trauma

     I hate this forest.

     Of course, it’s not the forest’s fault. Hatred is often not directly the hated’s fault, even if we chose to ignore that fact. It wasn’t the thick, grey tree trunks or the quarrelsome birds or the rocky earth here that caused me pain through any actions of their own. I was not taken by the hand by a stag and led into the deep of the trees to be hurt, over and over again, with words like lashes and fists clenched like my teeth when I dream of this place. The wild rabbits did not erect a cabin in the name of false love and conditional safety, lies nailed into place like each slab of wood. The work of the termites that gnaw at its foundations is only a mirror to the way my bones feel when I stand here; too light, too fragile and ready to snap under a single touch.   

     The rusted gas can in my hand is heavy, even though I’ve long since emptied it. The old, dry floorboards may not have needed the help, they seemed eager to embrace the warmth of the match I fed them. It all happened so quick, so fast, and I may have burned alive myself had I not broken from the trance that overtook me as I watched those ugly, plaid curtains ripple and twist in hot orange glow. 

     Standing outside, I watch the fire within through the windows. I imagine you inside the cabin, unable to get out. Something stirs inside me at the vision of you slamming your fists on the glass, unable to escape, screaming so sweetly for help that never comes. It would have been poetic for you to end like this, not old and in your bed, surrounded by the ones you claim to love.  

     The hot, smoky air fills my lungs. It burns, but it doesn’t hurt like I thought it would. Perhaps I am too numb from all the damage you caused. Perhaps I just don’t care. I won’t leave until I’ve watched the last embers grow dark and cold, thinking of how your own ashes lie cold and lifeless in a jar more pretty than you ever deserved.  

     Just like your body, I’ll burn, burn, burn all the secrets away.